Back to Reality

I know I've stated in other blogs that I am trying to figure out how to live this new life we are now living since losing Charlotte.  Our lives will never be the same as they were before and nor do I want them to be.  Each day I have the choice on how I will live the day and if I choose to bring honor to God in my choices.

Well, this week reality hit.   I am still a mom to seven living children.  And my life with those kids moves on.  Zoe is sick.  She has the nasty intestinal flu, as the nurse put it.  Today, we are on day three.  This mommy is tired.  I do admit that I LOVE the snuggles that come with my little girl being sick.  I am hugging her extra close this time.  Remember how I stated I have a choice in my actions?  I am cherishing time with my youngest, praying with and for her and trying to not be consumed with the other things that "need" to get done around the house.  I could easily, and I have to fight it with the Lord as my strength, get discouraged with the whining, vomiting, lack of sleeping, and the other yucky things that come with the flu.  But over all of that I want my little Zoe to know that her mommy loves her and that her mommy is willing to spend the day just sitting and holding her.  What a perfect example of how I've seen my Jesus holding me these last few weeks.  He just keeps loving me and carrying me, even in my yuckiest.  He never grows weary of loving me.

I am once again reminded how blessed we are right now.  We have so much help and support from friends and family.  We are still getting meals from our church body.  Because others have been bringing us our dinner, I have had more time to sit and hold my sick little girl.   We are also blessed with a neighbor/friend from church who is continuing to come get our laundry, take it home with her to wash, dry and fold it.  If I had to do my own regular laundry right now, the laundry would be getting piled up with the "sick" laundry that needs to get washed.

Today, I am still in awe of my great God.  He knew Zoe would be sick this week and he knew what I would need to get through it.  He has poured out His grace so graciously on me lately.  I am so grateful for His hand and the way He works and cares about everything in my life.  Lord, continue to help me to trust you and heal my little girl.