One Month

It's been one month to the day since we lost Charlotte.  I knew all week that Friday would be four weeks, but I didn't know the date.  Steve and I sat down last night to work on this month's budget.  I pulled out the calendar as I usually do.  I said in tears, "its been four weeks." Steve replied, "its been one month."  I glanced at the date on the calendar.  Tomorrow is the eighth.  A shudder went down my spine.  I wasn't prepared to see the number on the calendar.

Sometimes it seems like this past month has flown by and at other times it feels like it has crawled.  Still other times and most of the time, it feels like this whole month has been a dream.  I remember sitting in the doctors office when we couldn't find Charlotte's heartbeat and the world all around me became fuzzy.  The dream began.  As Steve and I cried together, we wondered out loud, "how does this happen?  Why?"  Things like this don't happen to people like us.  We are just normal people, striving to please God and raise our family.  This is the kind of thing that happens to other people, but not to us.  I kept wondering when I would wake up from this dream, no, this nightmare.  Now we were faced with this intense hurt and loss and we had to figure out how to live again.

Over the past month, the hurt has lessened, but it still remains.  It creeps up on me at unusual times and places. It hits me when I see certain friends or when friends ask how I am doing.  I am so grateful for the friends who dare to "enter the danger" to reach out to me, for the ones who ask the hard questions, for the ones who remember Charlotte with me and let me know they miss her too, for the friends who text me and tell me they are still praying for me, for the friends who ask what she looked like and what color her hair was.  In asking all these things, they have no idea how I will respond.  For that matter, I don't know how I will respond either.  They are willing to be there and be open to the fact that they very well may see me fall apart and they still ask.  Without the support that I have had this past month I don't know how I would have gotten through the roughest days.

I am blessed beyond belief.  Who am I that my King would love me so much as to pour out His love and faithfulness into my life the past month?  That He would be so close to me and His presence so evident that I can feel Him carrying me?  Who am I that His body, the church, my brothers and sisters, would love me so much as to "enter the danger" and to meet specific need such as meals, laundry and groceries?

So BLESSED!

I know that as times goes on and as the hurt still remains my God will continue to be faithful, because that is who He is and He doesn't change.

Holiday in Lower Michigan

We were so excited when we heard that our friend from high school, Sherwood and his wife Areli were going to be in Michigan from Guatemala the same time as us. It has been a couple years since we have last seen them. (They came to visit us in England.) We made plans to get together with them. On Friday July 2, we drove over to Kalamazoo where Sherwood was working for the week. We made it out of my mom's with only three kids...Andrew, Anna and Zoe. We enjoyed a nice dinner at an Irish Pub with Sherwood and Areli. It was so nice to chat and catch up.

After dinner we went back to their hotel so Andrew and Anna could swim a bit.

Andrew took this photo of Sherwood, Areli and Steve and me.

I can't get enough of this picture. They are both so proud. I love it when we mix it up a bit and take different sets of kids with us to do something special.

This is the best photo I have from the Fourth of July. We had a cookout at my mom's some of my Aunt, Uncles, cousins and their kids came. This is the second cousins playing together.

My Aunt Anne called to see if she could take the kids for a ride in her convertible. Three of them were thrilled to join her. I bet this was a highlight of our vacation for them. This is the first time they rode in a convertible and they LOVED it. Thank you, Aunt Anne.

Best Friends

Megan and Leah are best friends. They will both call each other it too. They are two peas in a pod. Rachel (Megan's mom) and I once took them into the bathroom at church together and the two of them giggled and talked the whole time. Rachel and I just shook our heads. I didn't realize how girls do the friend thing. My boys have been completely different. They will be friends and play with anyone. I don't know if they have ever said they have had a best friend.
In the above picture, Megan is wearing Leah's sweatshirt. This is not uncommon either. Leah says Megan can borrow her clothes. When Megan leaves our house, she almost always has something that Leah has given her. I am amazed that girl and clothes sharing thing has started so early.
A couple months ago, Megan was staying at her grandparents for the week. When she got home, she asked if she could go to Leah's house. She said that while she was at her grandma and grandpa's, Leah text her and told her she could come over. Rachel had to call me to tell me this. We cracked up. Apparently, the girls have their own cell phones and text each other. I asked Leah if she got a text from Megan and she said, "no." I would have died if she would have said yes. These girls just crack us all up. It is so fun to watch their special girly friendship.

Girl's NIght Out

This week was the week for "socials" for small group. Our group decided to break up and do guys and girls nights instead of getting families together since it is winter and we couldn't think of anything to do. The girls went out last night and the guys go out next Thursday. Both groups decided to go bowling.

We had a blast last night. I think girls just like getting together and chatting more than anything else. We were happy to discover when we arrived at the bowling alley that if we waited until 9:00 p.m. we could get our whole group in for 20 pounds for as many games we wanted. If we did it when we got there 8:15, it would have cost us 10 pounds each for two games. We were all willing to wait for the savings. This meant we had time to get a drink and sit and chat.

Me and Rachel

The group of us watching each other bowl

I had to post these pictures of Glenda and Rachel showing us how it is done. After all, they had the highest scores. I'm waiting for their thanks for posting these pictures. :) I won't even tell you who had the lowest score, but it starts with a M and ends with a E! It seems as though these silly English bowling alleys have sensors on the lanes that fault you when you step over the line. I did do a bit better once I learned that.

Hey, it wasn't about the game though, it was about being together, right?