I Never Saw Her Eyes

  

I have a wall in the basement that has close ups of all of the kids.  Steve gave me three of them for Mother's Day back when the three boys were quite little.  With each addition to our family, I buy another frame (I'm still amazed that Hobby Lobby still carries the same one after all these years) and add a close-up of the new baby to the others.  

After we lost Charlotte, I wanted to add her picture along with the rest and I finally got around to asking my friend, Jacque, to order me one.  Charlotte's picture came in last week.  I had mixed emotions.  I was excited to add it to the rest since she is a part of our family, but it also hurt to see her.  

As I got around to hanging the picture, I cleaned the frame and placed her photo inside.  I took it to the basement and arranged all the photos to fit Charlotte's on an empty nail.  After I placed it on the wall, I stood back to look at them.  It broke me.  It hit me as I looked at all the pictures of the other seven smiling kids, that I would never see Charlotte smile.  Her eyes were shut tight, while the other children's eyes sparkled with joy.  As I looked at their eyes, I realized I never even saw Charlotte's eyes and that I never would.  I broke down crying.  

This whole mourning thing comes and goes.  It is the strangest thing.  I am realizing more and more that I will have a lifetime of mourning the loss of what could have been and what we are missing by not having with Charlotte here with us.  I suppose that is why some call mourning a dance.  

Death and My Children

Yesterday as I was taking Nate and Zoe to the doctor for a check-up, ahead of us I saw American flags lining the side of the road.  I wondered what they could be for.  As we drew nearer, I saw that it was a funeral home.  I choked back tears and prayed for the family.  I was so proud and impressed that they would honor someone like that.

Nathanael asked what the flags were for.  I explained that it was a funeral for someone probably in the military.  We talked a bit about what that meant.  He then said, "Charlotte didn't have flags."  I chuckled to myself in the moment and told him because Charlotte wasn't in the military.

Later last night I was thinking about the scene from earlier in the day and once again was reminded by the fact that my children and some of them still very young have experienced death.  They know it too well now.  They know what a funeral home is.  I didn't have to explain that part to Nate earlier.  He just knew.  It seems in my opinion too much for a young child to have to know about.

I am reminded about another conversation a few weeks ago with Tristan.  He started asking questions about how funeral processions could run red lights.  It intrigued him how we were able to go right through the red lights as we followed the car carrying Charlotte to the cemetery.  We talked about all the details in that.  At that time, I again was struck by how my children know too much of death...all the details involved.

We have been reinforcing Heaven with our children a lot through all this talk of funeral homes, cemeteries, and death.  We have hope because we have Jesus.  Charlotte is safe with Jesus in Heaven. Even Zoe who is three knows this.  She very often says, "My baby sister dead.  She's in Heaven with Jesus."  Even though I feel my kids have experienced more of death than they should at their young ages, I desire them to know that they have a God who loves them tremendously and that they can have hope in Him.  I am praying that the experience of them losing their sister will draw them closer to Jesus.  I desire that more than what they know about funeral homes, processions or cemeteries, they would know the hope they can have in Jesus Christ, who paid the penalty for their sins and that they can one day spend eternity with Him (and their sister, Charlotte) in Heaven.

Project Simplify #3 - Toys

I have to admit this one was a bit overwhelming for me. At Simple Mom this week's challenge also included kids clothes. The fact that I have seven kids each one of those challenges, toys and kids clothes, could possible take me weeks to conquer. At the beginning of the week, I wrote out my priorities regarding this weeks challenge. This is what I came up with...

1. The Game Closet

2. The Girls bedroom

3. The basement toys

I had to make it attainable or I would have given up and gotten nothing done. For all of these areas, I focused on toys and not clothes. That challenge is for another week.

Game closet before

and after

I forgot to take a before picture of the basement, but this is the pile of broken toys or unwanted toys to get rid of.

Basement after (although we still need to get rid of more toys)

It is hard having kids in so many different age ranges. That just equals more toys.

The basement girls dress-up area

I didn't do as much as I should have, but I got a few areas of the house picked up and I feel good about that. The secret is to make your goals attainable, so as not to get overwhelmed. Another project successful. I can't wait to see what next weeks challenge is. Go here on Monday and join me. You can also go here to see how other people organized their toys and kids clothes.

Signs of Spring

For us one sure fire sign of Spring is new sidewalk chalk. We headed off to Walmart today to get some, as requested by the girls. They spent the rest of the day coloring and drawing. Zoe and daddy even joined in on the fun.

Jonah Bible Activity for Preschoolers

Last week as four of mine were at school and the baby was napping, I wanted to spend some time with my 3 and 4 year old. As I thought about what we could do together, I remembered how we used to play Jonah and the whale (big fish) with the older boys when they were little. I decided it would be a fun activity to do with them, plus it would teach them about God's will for us.

I told them to get their Bibles. They both ran and found their Bibles, actually they each grabbed two, and then we met on my bed. I hadn't had a chance to make the bed yet that morning so we snuggled up together. I then proceeded to find the story of Jonah in each of their children's Bibles. Then I read the story from each of their Bibles, not all four, but just one for each of them. After I read, we chatted a bit about how when Jonah didn't obey God he got swallowed by the big fish. It was then as Jonah was in the belly of the fish that he needed to ask God to forgive him for not obeying and then the fish spit him out.

Next we did a fun activity to make the story more real and fun for them. We pretended we were Jonah and that we disobeyed God. I then lifted the covers to the bed (our big fish) and we crawled inside. We talked very briefly about how dark it was and how we knew we had sinned against God by not obeying him. We said a quick prayer like, "God please forgive me."

Then we threw back the blanket as the big fish spit us out.

They absolutely LOVED it and we played it over, and over, and over again...until mommy had enough.

I just thought I would share a really simple, yet fun way to teach God's truth to your preschoolers.

Snow Day(s)

It begins - February 1, 2011

Snowmageddon, Snowpoclayse and Blizzard 2011 are a few of names they have come up with for the storm that went through our area yesterday, last night and into this morning. We had a potential for up to 22 inches of snow before the storm was all said and done with. Needless to say, school was closed yesterday and today. Yesterday morning, I was wondering if they shouldn't have had school since it didn't start snowing until around noon. Very quickly, though, I realized why. Once it started, the snow was coming down anywhere from 1-3 inches an hour. Steve, thankfully, left work around 12:30 and made it home safely. He said conditions were pretty yucky with a few white out conditions.

The kids played out in the snow most of the afternoon. The snow and the wind were blowing like crazy, but they loved it. After dinner and being begged much by the kids, Steve went out and played with the kids for a bit. That is until they heard the snow thunder, or Snunder as Steve likes to call it. Then it didn't take them long at all to come running inside. The lightning and thunder was crazy. You would have to see it to believe it.

We all went to bed listening to the wind and the snow howl against the house, all the while praying for no power outages.

Out our back door the morning of February 2, 2011

A snowdrift bigger than Leah

As the kids woke up this morning, they rushed the the patio door and pulled back the curtain to see how big the drift out the door had gotten. The drift had gotten to at least 3 feet high. They quickly ate their breakfast and they were out the door once again to play in the snow. After a bit, Steve headed out to begin shoveling the driveway. He spent the next 2 1/2-3 hours out there. Thankfully, one of our neighbors let Steve use his snow blower, but it was still slow-going. The plowback at the end of the driveway was as wide as our van is long and it was just over Steve's knees in depth.

Not just snow, but wind too.

Zoe keeping nice and warm eating her birthday breakfast, while the others play outside behind her.

Nathanael had his go too, he didn't last out very long.

The snow is a tad too deep for a little guy.

As I sit and type, the snowplows have gone through the neighborhood a couple more times and Steve is back out there clearing the plow back. I've been wanting to get out there so badly today and help, but I was diagnosed with Strep Throat again on Sunday and I still don't feel well. So my job, during these snow days, is to keep everyone fed, to hang up all the wet outdoor clothing, to watch from the window and to care for the little ones. This isn't too bad though, I am staying nice and warm.

Cason working hard shoveling the plowback.

Cason's tunnel

Steve snow blowing

Our town has come in with a total of 14.4 inches. This is a pretty significant amount for this area. I don't ever remember getting this much here. Records were broken. This is definitely one winter and storm we won't forget. The kids are in Snow Heaven. Now we just have to wait and see if there will be school tomorrow. I am pretty sure there will be, if not I better come up with a plan to keep the seven busy so they don't get too bored.

The mailbox before

and after

Tristan standing above the mailbox

Still working hard

I began writing this blog earlier in the day today. We just found out a couple of hours ago that school is once again canceled for tomorrow. We are supposed to have some very cold weather too. I don't know how much the kids will be outside. I need to get myself all geared up with some plans so we all don't go nuts. I think we will maybe make cookies, play games, read some books and probably watch some tv. Hey, we've got to make the most of our snow days!

One Of the, I'm Sure, Many Things...

(this photo is from back in the Spring when the entire family minus Steve and Z were treated for Strep Throat)

...no one ever told me about having a large family.

Sickness

You see in a large family when one person gets sick with something contagious, like let's say Strep Throat, a cold, or the stomach flu, it gets passed from one person, to the next person, to the next, and so on. By the time everyone has had the sickness and been treated for it, the cycle begins once again. It then makes its way back through the family again. Sometimes, it changes from Strep, to the stomach flu, and then on to Pink Eye. It is even conceivable to think that we could have everyone sick with a different kind of bug all at once. God, have MERCY, please!

We had Strep throat go through just before Christmas. All of the boys were treated and the girls made it out safely. This week already, I have had one daughter in to the doctors for a nasty ear infection on Saturday. The other daughter had a fever last Thursday and Friday and stayed home from school. She was fine over the weekend and on Monday and Tuesday. On Wednesday, morning she kept saying she was cold. I thought she was just trying to get out of going to school. After I helped get her dressed, I took her temperature...101.4 degrees F. She got to stay home. After a while of her laying on the couch, she threw up. It was then that I knew she had Strep Throat. I called the doctors and got her in later that morning. She tested positive for Strep. If my doctor had not been a man, I probably would have cried. All I could think is here we go again. My mind then begins to fill with the steps we have to take to keep this from spreading and to get rid of this bug.

Number 1 - Stop at Walmart on the way home from doctors. Pick up prescription, Tylenol, Ibuprofen (lots of it). Recently I decided that when I buy Tylenol to always buy at least two bottles at a time. We go through it rather quickly.

Number 2 - We have to make sure no one shares cups. Everyone uses their designated color.

Number 3- New tooth brushes all around, but we can't open them for 24 hours.

Number 4 - No sharing chap stick.

All of these are hard when you have a three year old running around drinking from everyone's cups and chewing on everyone's tooth brushes.

When they/we get sick, I have to switch into survival mode. I need to do what comes next. I need to love on my sickies and show them I care. I can't be worried about tomorrow or who will or won't get sick. Heaven forbid it be me, although, secretly I do sometimes wish I would be the sick one so I can hibernate to my bedroom for a whole day. Not sick enough to be paralyzed, but just enough to nap and read ALL DAY LONG.

I do have to say that I love Winter, but due to the fact that our family is sick ALL winter long, I'm having second thoughts. Everyday, I need to remind myself that my God is Healer and my God is Protector. My prayers are filled with those cries this winter.

Everyone's bottle labeled with their initial so we can keep them straight

And Their Off...To School That Is

Backpacks packed and ready

They are a little excited, can you tell?

They were excited to get back to school. I went with Leah on the first day. She only went for an hour. After a bit of time, the parents had to go to the gym to hear from the principal and get other information. Leah cried when I had to go, but after that she was fine. The next day she was so excited to ride the bus with her older brothers. She didn't even want me to walk her to the bus stop. I did assign one of her brothers to be her "buddy" for the day. He would help cross the street, find a seat on the bus and also get her to her class. For the first week or so, we changed boys each day. She loved having the special attention from her older brothers and I think they enjoyed taking care of her.

The kids are loving school and mom is enjoying the quiet around the house.

School Supplies

This is what school supplies for four children looks like. I can't even imagine the amount, much less the cost for school supplies for seven.

Last week we sorted it all out and got their backpacks all packed. Here are the proud four with a little sister peeking in. They head back to school tomorrow . I have a feeling it will be bittersweet for all of us.

Swim Lessons

The kids just got done with two weeks of swimming lessons and they all absolutely loved them. I did too. They each had their own teacher (life guards) and all the kids had their lessons at the same time. This is especially great for someone with seven kids. We all went to the pool and I walked around with Nathanael and Zoe while all the kids had their lessons for half an hour. On the last day of their lessons, they got to go down the water slides. The pool has three more sessions of lessons through the summer. I think I might sign them up for one more session at the end of July. It gives us something to do, teaches them a valuable skill and lets them enjoy time at the pool.