The swimming part of the tri has really stressed me out. Up until yesterday, I didn't even know what my approximate swim time would be. I have been afraid my time would be double what I said it would be when I signed up. And I'm a rule follower so that stressed me out. I swam late last week and felt so discouraged, I wanted to quite the tri all together.
The other morning I remembered a verse that has been very precious to me the last four months.
"Fear not, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10This verse says it perfectly. I decided then and there that I would pray this verse over and over in my head during this swim portion. Especially, the part about Him upholding me :) I'm not doing this race alone, even better I'm not living my life alone. My Savior is right there with me giving me strength. What a promise!
Then on Monday night when my sister and I were heading out for our bike ride, I fell. My foot got stuck in my toe clip and over I went in my driveway. (I was moving by the way :) When the adult body hits the ground, it hurts. I skinned my elbow and my knee and I am bruised up and down the right side of my body. As I lay on the ground, half laughing and half crying, I thought "this is my out. I won't be able to do the tri now." But, no. It wasn't that bad, thankfully. I needed to press on. I got on my bike and we rode our 13 mi and it was good.
After sharing my fears of the tri over and over again with Steve, he recommended I sit down and write out why I am doing the tri. I've shared briefly in a previous post. So, why am I doing this triathlon? I am doing it because it is a way I can bring Him glory. I am doing it because He was crushed for my sins. He was beaten for me. He was willing to lay down His life so I could have eternal life. It brings tears to my eyes as I write this. If He was willing to do all this for me, than the least I can do is swim, bike and run for Him! My body may feel broken and weak, but His body was truly broken for me...better even yet...for you...for all of mankind. Wow! He is so worthy!
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted." Hebrews 12:1-3
So, even though my life has been hard these past four months and I never would have chosen this path, God is good! He has been faithful every step of the way. I can only trust that He will continue to be faithful. As for Saturday, I will run with perseverance the race before me. I run for Charlotte, so she will know that even though I still long to have her here with me, I love Jesus more. She understands. She is standing in His awesome presence right now. One day I will be right there with her and we will be praising Him together. But for now, while I am still here on this earth...I will run with His strength to bring Him glory.